LOVE
INTRODUCTION
Our Need to Be Loved
One of the deepest needs of our hearts is to be loved by others. Not only do we want to be loved, but we want also for others to make that love known to us. We want to see a demonstration of their love. We want to hear others say something or do something that lets us know they love us. We need for others to be concerned about us, to act in our interest, and to surround us with understanding.
Many people recognize this need for love and readily give and accept love at its various levels. However, sometimes people despair of ever being loved. Moreover, they find it difficult to love others. You may be among the people who have this difficulty. Perhaps you have grown up in a loveless environment. Neither home nor community has shown you much love. As a result, you have lost hope. Your hopelessness may even lead you to deny that you need love.
Our Need for God’s Love
An even deeper need is to be loved by God and to see a demonstration of His love. People who believe in God usually will admit that they desire to experience His love. Even when people deny the existence of God, they need His love. They may not admit they have this need, but the need is still there. We must realize that even when others do not love us, God intensely loves us.
Evidence of God’s Love
When we think about it, we see many evidences of God’s love for us. We see the love of God in all aspects of life.
- Nature
In the realm of nature, the mountains, the valleys, the oceans, the land masses, the rain, the rainbow, and the sunshine–all these demonstrate God’s love for us. Clearly God cares for His creation and provides beauty and sustenance for it.
- Achievements
We see God’s love in the achievements of men. The automobiles, the airplanes, the means of communication, the libraries, and the homes are evidence of God’s abundant provision for us. Although men do these things, we believe that the mind of God inspires their creativity.
- Actions
The love of God for us stands out in the actions of people who love us and the rest of God’s creation. Even though it is people who express that love, it is the love of God which is the ultimate source of the love. Every time we see love expressed by fellow men, we are reminded of the love of God.
- Christ’s Exalted Love through His death.
We have already read that God demonstrated His love for us through the death of Christ. The scripture says that “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Both the love of the Father and the love of Christ are demonstrated in Christ’s death for us. The love of God, through Christ, is an exalted love. It is higher than any other love for us. (Romans 5:7; John 12:32-33; John 15:13)
Love is not self-love, but rather self-sacrificing love. (1 John 3:16-18).
Love is generous, not selfish or greedy. (1 John 4:9-10; John 3:16).
Love is unending, not a temporary feeling, emotion, or attraction. (Romans 8:38-39; 1 John 4:8)
Love is undeserving and often unreciprocated. (Matthew 5:43-44). (Romans 5:10).(Colossians 1:21-23) and love is lavish. (1 John 3:1)
Love involves sacrifice. It involves putting someone else’s interests ahead of yourself. We know Jesus loves us because he gave up his life for us. Love is putting someone else in front of yourself.
Love is not merely an emotion, it is an exercise of the will to build up the other, even at the expense of yourself.
Love is the uniting principle (as the belt that holds together the garment, love is the ligament that holds together the body of Christ) of our character in Christ, Col 3:14 (10).
Character is complete as we love fervently with a pure heart, 1 Pet 1:22.
“And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” 1 Cor 13:13 Why? Because “God is love”!
The Bible admonishes believers to Put on love. Col 3:14
The world has so abused and misdefined love that the very concept of loving someone, much less saying it, has become trite and empty, void of its true definition (cf. “love” – eroticism, sensualism, selfishness, greed and covetousness, etc.)
Love sums up the Christian’s responsibilities in the New Testament (Romans 13:9).
Love is the capstone, the crowning virtue, the consummation of all other virtues (Galatians 5:22-23; 2 Peter 1:5-7; Colossians 3:12-14).
Love is the goal of Paul’s instruction (1 Timothy 1:5)
Love is the distinguishing mark of the true Christian (John 13:35).
Without love, the value of spiritual gifts is greatly diminished (1 Corinthians 12:1-3).
Love is greater than any of the spiritual gifts and is even greater than faith and hope (1 Corinthians 13:13).
Love endures suffering under persecution, and Christians will be persecuted (Matthew 24:10; 2 Timothy 3:12)
Love is easily lost, without one even being aware of it (Revelation 2:1-7).
Love is misunderstood and distorted by the unbelieving world.
Love is vitally important to Christians, for it should govern our relationships with other Christians, especially those with whom we strongly disagree.
Man-made religions have helped to misdefine love.
- Love is not emotionally defined (mushy-gushy, warm and tingly).
- Love is not always smiling and cheerful (2 Cor 2:4).
God is love; to know God we must love as He loves us, 1 Jn 4:8.
- The whole Old Testament Law is summed up by the one word, “love” (see Leviticus 19:17-18; Matthew 19:19, Matt 22:36-40).
- Characteristic of disciples, Jn 13:34-35.
- Our obligation to all, Rom 13:8.
- Love is motivational, 1 Cor 13:1-3; Gal 5:6. Love is an action word!
Many other things could be said about love. It is the enduring motive and defining attribute of the Christian, because “God is love” (1 Jn. 4:8).
Love never fails (powerful and effective), 1 Cor. 13:8 (13)
DEFINITION OF LOVE
LOVE DEFINED
- GREEKS HAD FOUR WORDS FOR LOVE.
- eros – carnal, sexual love, properly reserved for marriage – cf. He 13:4
- philia – the love of close friendship, such as brotherly love – cf. Jn 11:3
- storge – the love of family relationships; affection
- agape – that love which seeks the highest good of others; “Unconquerable benevolence, undefeatable goodwill”.)
— It is unfortunate that the English word “love” is not as clearly defined
- DISTINCTION BETWEEN PHILIA AND AGAPE.
- It is common to make the following distinction
- agape – active good will, as that which is commanded
- philia – fondness, heartfelt affection, as that which cannot
be forced
- Yet the distinction between the two is not always clear cut
- agape – can also be defined as “brotherly love, affection – Thayer, Strong
- philia – often commanded in the Scriptures – cf. Ro 12:10;
1Co 16:22
WHAT LOVE IS
- Keeping God’s commandments, 1 Jn 5:3; 2 Jn 6.
- Doing good to enemies, Luke 6:35-36
As we wish to be treated (Lk 6:31).
- Disciplining loved ones (children, brethren, ourselves), Heb 12:5-6; Prov 13:24; 1 Cor 5:5.
- Forgiving brethren, 2 Cor 2:6-9.
- Sacrificing ourselves for others, Jn 15:13.
That is to say that love gives itself to benefit others
- Helping the needy, 1 Jn 3:14-18.
Love looks at its ability and helps relieve suffering.
- Preaching the gospel, Phil 1:15-17 (Eph 4:15; 1 Cor 13:6). Without compromise or quarter, to save some (Gal 1:10; 1 Cor 9:22)
- Contributing of money to do the work of the church, 2 Cor 8:24. Sign or evidence of love for the saints (and God)
- Encouraging the saints, (Phil 2:1-4) Comfort, warn, urge; help be faithful to Christ
- Sacrificing for your wife, Eph 5:23, 28-33. Love your wife as yourself.
- Obeying your husband, Eph 5:22-24 (Titus 2:5).
- Being courageous in faith, 2 Tim 1:7; 1 Jn 4:17-19. Maturity and boldness in the Day of Judgment and Persecution
- Forbearing one another, Eph 4:2 (Col 3:13). Endure; “holding yourselves back from one another.”
- Not offending weak in conscience with your liberty, (Rom 14:15; 1 Cor 8:9-13)
- Greeting each other, 1 Pet 5:14
- Regularly studying your Bible is a way to express our love, Psa 119:97. What we think on (fill our minds with) reveals what we love
Love is a way of doing everything, 1 Cor 16:14. Includes all our motives and attitudes plus our words and actions
True love has no motive but to love selflessly. Let me say that again, true love has no motive but to love selflessly.
Love is one of the most overused and least understood words in Bible.
The Bible paints a clear and undeniable picture of love as it reveals God to us (God is love, 1 Jn. 4:8).
- We are compelled to love because He first loved us, 1 Jno. 4:19, 7.
- The motives, character and duration of love (1 Cor. 13).
“Love, whether used of God or man, is an earnest and anxious desire for and an active and beneficent interest in the well-being of the one loved.”
Love is a devotion and action of the will; not merely an emotion or feeling.
By this we know love: The nature of love, 1 Jn 3:16.
- LOVE DEMANDED
- TO LOVE GOD AND JESUS.
- We are commanded to love (agape) God heart, soul, mind, and
strength – Mk 12:30
- We are commanded to love (philia) Jesus, more than family – 1Co. 16:22; Mt 10:37
— The greatest command of the Law, reinforced in the Gospel
- TO LOVE OUR BRETHREN.
- We are to love (agape) one another as Christ loved us – Jn 13:34-35
- We are to be kindly affectionate (philostorgos, love of family) to one another with brotherly love (philadelphia, fraternal affection) – Ro 12:10
— With brotherly love that is affectionate and demonstrative to
others
- TO LOVE OUR FAMILIES…
- Husbands are to love
(agape) their wives (which includes to
cherish) – Ep 5:25,28-29
- Wives are to love (philandros, to love as a friend) their husbands – Tit 2:4
- Mothers are to love their children (philoteknos, to be fond of one’s children) – Tit 2:4
— With heartfelt affection that should only be natural in
families
- TO LOVE NEIGHBORS AND ENEMIES.
- We are commanded to love (agape) our neighbor – Mk 12:31
- We are commanded to love (agape) our enemies – Mt 5:44
— With active good will that allows no distinction between friend
and foe
III. LOVE DEVELOPED*
- TAUGHT BY GOD.
- Concerning brotherly love (philadelphia) to love one another
(agape) – 1Th 4:9
- By way of example (how He sent His Son) – 1Jn 4:9-10; Ro 5:8
— God teaches us how to love one another
- TAUGHT BY JESUS.
- By way of example (how He was willing to die for us) – 1Jn 3:16
- How He loved (philia and agape) His disciples – Jn 11:3,5
(Lazarus, Mary, Martha); Jn 13:1,34 (the disciples); Jn 13:23; 20:2 (John)
— Jesus teaches us how to love one another
- TAUGHT BY PAUL.
- Who taught Christians how to walk in love – Ep 5:1-2
- Who taught husbands how to love their wives – Ep 5:25-33
- Who practiced brotherly love (agapetos, beloved, dear) – cf.
Php 4:1
— Paul teaches us how to love in word and example
- TAUGHT BY PETER.
- Who taught us to love one another (philia and agape) fervently
– 1Pe 1:22; 4:8
- Who taught us to love (agape) the brotherhood, as brethren
(philadelphos) – 1Pe 2:17; 3:8
- Who practiced brotherly love (agapetos, beloved, dear) – cf.
2Pe 3:15
— Peter teaches us how to love in word and example
- TAUGHT BY OTHER CHRISTIANS.
- Older women should be capable of teaching the younger women
– Tit 2:3-4
- Even young Christians can set an example of how to love – 1Ti. 4:12; 2Th 1:3
— Brethren (young and old) can teach us to love one another
- DEVELOPING HEARTFELT AFFECTION.
- We can enhance philia love by adding agape love to it – cf. 2 Pe 1:7
- Display agape (active good will), and philia (heartfelt affection) will follow – cf. 1Th 4:9 — The key to having heartfelt affection towards others is to be kind to them!
- LOVE DEMONSTRATED
- EXEMPLIFIED BY GOD AND JESUS.
- God’s love was manifested by sending His Son to die for our
sins – Jn 3:16; 1Jn 4:10
- Jesus’ love was demonstrated by dying for us – Jn 15:13; 1Jn
3:16
— True love is sacrificial
- EXPLAINED BY JOHN.
- Demonstrated in deed and in truth – 1Jn 3:17-18
- Demonstrated by obeying the commands of God – 1Jn 5:2-3
— True love is demonstrative and exemplary
- EXPOUNDED BY PAUL.
- Love suffers long and is kind
- Love does not envy
- Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up
- Does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked,
thinks no evil
- Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth
- Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things
- Love never fails – 1Co 13:4-8
— True love is everlastingly kind, patient, humble, polite, and
assumes the best in others
CHARACTERISTICS OF LOVE
- LOVE IS PATIENT
- Patient means to be longsuffering, slow to anger, slow to punish
a Patient with those who need to grow
- Patient with the imperfections of others
- Patient when mistakes are made.
- LOVE IS KIND
- Kindness means Carrying out acts that demonstrate loving kindness. (1 John 3:18; Prov. 31:20)
True love has a gentle, caring and compassionate heart. It feels your sorrow; it feels your joy.
She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
- Love seeks ways to demonstrate itself.
- Love goes beyond what is “expected”.
- Example of the Good Samaritan
If longsuffering (or patience) is the passive side of love, kindness is the active side. Kindness is: “… a word suggesting goodness as well as solicitousness. They are interested in true goodness, actively interested in the welfare of those about them.
Kindness is characteristic of God and should thus characterize the Christian as well: (Luke 6:35; Romans 2:4; Ephesians 2:7; Ephesians 4:32; Titus 3:4-7; 2 Timothy 2:24; 1 Peter 3:8).
- LOVE DEFENDS (Pr 10:12; 1Pe 4:8)
- Love does not attack, but defends.
- Love attempts to protect and defend.
- LOVE BELIEVES AND COMMITS (1John 3:16)
- Love Produces Strong commitment.
- Like that of the Apostles of old who were committed to Christ even to the point of being martyred.
- LOVE TRUSTS
- Trust means assuming the best about Someone, not the worst. (Heb.5:9)
True love trusts. It relies and depends on you. It recognizes your abilities, talents, skills and the good things in you.
- LOVE PERSEVERES. (Job 13:15; 2 Ti 2:10)
- Perseverance means staying loyal in bad times as well as the good.
- LOVE ENDURES (Ge 29:20)
- ENDURANCE means a refusal to give up or give in.
- LOVE IS JUST, 1 Cor. 13:6.
- Love does not Free the Guilty or Punish the Innocent, Exo. 34:5-9.
-Love does not say: “I love you so much I will show favoritism toward you; I will not rebuke, reprove or correct you!”
- Love Disciplines when Needed (warns and corrects/punishes).
- Correct (discipline) the child, Heb. 12:5-11 (Prov. 13:24).
-The parent who does not warn, rebuke and correct his child does not love him in God’s way.
- Correct (discipline) the sinful (unruly) Christian, 2 Cor. 2:3-11.
-The church that does not try warn, exhort, rebuke and put away the unrepentant sinner does not love him! 1 Cor. 5:4-5
- LOVE DOES NOT MEASURE ITSELF BY HOW OTHERS ACT OR TREAT IT,— 2 Cor. 12:15. (Love doesn’t compare itself to others.)
- This Gets to the Motives of Love, 1 Cor. 13:1-3.
- Love does not concern itself with itself; it focuses on the well being of others (spiritual, physical, etc.).
- Christ is our supreme example, Jn. 15:9-14.
- Love on Display, 1 Cor. 13:4-8. Its character is revealed in our treatment of others:
- God’s love for Christ, Matt. 3:17 — Jn. 8:29
- God’s love for mankind, Matt. 5:43-37 — Matt. 22:37
- God’s love for sinners, Eph. 2:4-7 — 2 Cor. 5:15.
- Husbands and wives, Eph. 5:25-33.
- Parents and Children, Eph. 6:1-4.
- LOVE IS OBSERVABLE (LOVE IS AN ACTION WORD), Jn. 3:16.
- To Say we Love Someone without Acting in Good Will toward that Person is not Love, 1 Jn. 3:16-18.
- If “love unspoken is not love”; then how much more can we say that love professed yet not practiced is not love!
- Husbands, practice your love, Eph. 5:25, 28-29.
- LOVE IS SACRIFICIAL.
- It is not Selfish: Giving, not Taking, 1 Jn. 4:9-10; Jn. 3:16; 1 Cor. 13:5 (3).
- Willing to be Spent in Order to Help Others, 2 Cor. 12:15.
- Love incurs cost to itself while it exhausts itself in practicing good will toward others.
- There is no limit to love’s reach and the sacrifices it will make.
True love does extraordinary things. It goes out of its comfort zone or sacrifices things important to it just to show its love. – John 3:16
- LOVE IS OBEDIENT TO AUTHORITY.
- Obedience to the Lord is a Direct Reflection of One’s Love for Him, Jn. 14:15.
- Person who does not obey Jesus does not love Him, Jn. 14:24
- Jesus set this example of love for us, Jn. 14:31.
- God Loves the Obedient Person, Jn. 14:21, 23.
- Fellowship and blessings from the presence of God.
- By this we know love, cf. 1 Jn. 2:3-5.
- Love is not envious.
True love is content and thankful of its blessings and current possessions. It doesn’t envy other people.
- Love is humble.
True love is not proud and boastful. It is humble enough to admit its own mistakes and strive to correct them. It also forgives to get rid of hatred and enjoy peacefulness. – 1 Corinthians 13:4
- Love is respectful.
True love respects and honors you as a person. It doesn’t put you into shame or humiliation.
- Love is selfless.
True love is always thoughtful and concerned of the welfare of its beloved. It’s not selfish, inconsiderate, and greedy.
- Love is calm.
True love always maintains clarity of mind and softness of heart. Its heart is deep and its mind is not narrow.
- Love is righteous.
True love always does the right thing. It disciplines itself to avoid wrongdoings. – 1 Corinthians 13:5
- Love is honest.
True love is truthful. It’s happy living an honest life. It doesn’t lie and hide in darkness. – 1 Corinthians 13:6
- Love is hopeful.
True love is optimistic. It includes you in its plans. It sees a bright future with you.
- Love is persistent.
True love doesn’t easily give up. – 1 Corinthians 13:7
- Love banishes fear.
True love eliminates fear, anxieties and insecurities that torment one’s heart, mind, and soul.
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18
- Love loves even those who don’t love it. – Luke 6:27-33
- Love comes from God and brings you closer to God.– 1 John 4:7
- Love loves through true actions.
True love is not based on words or hypocritical deeds, but it is based on truthful actions. It doesn’t only believe or hope, but it does actions that will make the things it believes or hopes a reality. – 1 John 3:18-19
- Love loves itself.
True love takes care of itself, not hurt itself. It develops itself to be stronger, healthier and more capable to continue on loving. – Ephesians 5:28
- Love binds a person’s good virtues in perfect unity.
True love transforms you into a whole new and better person. – Colossians 3:12-14
- Love gives you confidence to face even the end of time.
True love keeps you away from sins and cleanses your soul so that you may become confident even on the Day of Judgment. — 1 John 4:17
- Love keeps no record of wrong.
Loving people don’t dredge up old hurts and hold grudges.
- Love rejoices with the truth.
Loving people are happy when truth wins and they do not enjoy any type of evil.
- True love is without pretence. (Romans 12:9)
Love infuses meaning into every aspect of life.
No matter how much success, skill or meaningful work you have, with out love you are bankrupt. Love is what makes life worthwhile.
BENEFITS OF GOD’S LOVE TOWARDS MAN — Psalm 103
- He forgives our sins.
- He heals our diseases.
- He redeems our lives from the pit.
- He crowns us with compassion.
- He satisfies our desires with good things.
- He makes His ways known to us.
- He does not treat us as our sins deserve.
- He is rich toward us with abundant forgiveness, mercy, and grace.
- He deals with us gently because He knows we are weak.
- He will love us forever; His love never fails.
BENEFITS OF CHRISTIAN LOVE
- It encourages unity and harmony (Acts 2:1,46; Col. 3:14)
- It causes growth (Acts 2:46-67)
- It ensures fresh baptism of the Spirit (Acts 2:1-4; Romans 5:5)
- All things work together for good (Romans 8:28)
- It leads to immeasurable testimonies. (1 Cor. 2:9)
- It engenders bountiful blessings. (Deut. 28:1-13)
- It kills condemnation and grants boldness. (Romans 8:34; Hebrews 4:16; 1 Pet. 4:8)
- It opens up heavens for revelation. (1 John 2:10; Isa.58:7-8)
- It makes obeying the law easier. (John 13:34, Matt. 22:40)
- Love powers faith in action (Gal. 5:6)
- Love keeps us from falling into temptation. (1 John 2:15-17)
- Love expels fear. (1 John 4:18)
CONCLUSION
Genuine love exhibits passion (Romans 12:9-12)
Genuine love seeks harmony (Romans 12:14-16, Luke 6:27-28, 1 Peter 3:9 , 1 Thessalonians 5:15)
Genuine love overcomes evil (Romans 12:19-20, Proverbs 25:21-22, Romans 12:21)
It is the love on which all the Law of Moses and the Prophets hangs upon.
It is a love that increases the righteousness and glory of God when it is practiced.
This is the kind of love that God commands each of us to practice all the days of our lives.